


Four Jr.

by fragilecapricornpanic



Series: PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters [62]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Feels, Fluff, Gen, Good Sibling Diego Hargreeves, Homelessness, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Parent Allison Hargreeves, Pre-Canon, Protective Ben Hargreeves, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Sibling Bonding, Soft Diego Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:49:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26410669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilecapricornpanic/pseuds/fragilecapricornpanic
Summary: After a few blows, the TV statically came to life. “Put E! on.” Klaus demanded excitedly, enthralled by having access to shitty TV. “Does it look like this thing has cable?” Diego deadpanned, giving his brother a dirty look. Klaus pouted, so Diego huffed and turned back around to get back to finding a show.“-lison Hargreaves is reportedly expecting her first child with spouse Patrick Reiner. The couple ha-““She’s pregnant?” all three brothers exclaimed at once - Diego was bewildered, Klaus was excited, and Ben was nervous. Diego squinted down at the television, frozen in place in front of it. She was having a baby?
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Eudora Patch
Series: PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters [62]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869709
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	Four Jr.

**Author's Note:**

> Not me editing old work to include season 2 canon (๑･̑◡･̑๑)
> 
> Emetophobia TW for _paragraph_ one, I accidentally wrote season one lmfao

“Can I crash here?” Klaus whined, pouting in a way he hoped looked endearing. “It’s _so cold_ and I’m _so lazy_.” he moaned, feeling far too exhausted to try and find somewhere else to sleep. Klaus had pissed everyone he knew off lately, and he didn’t feel up to trying to seduce someone. Diego stared at him in silence as he contemplated, unnervingly not blinking. “No drugs.” his living brother gruffly demanded, waiting for Klaus to accept before he pulled the door open. “I don’t think you _quite_ grasp how addiction works.” Klaus nervously giggled, not wanting to have to make this choice. “Do you want me to puke on your couch?” Klaus had done that once, Diego had almost stuck his nose in it like a dog who pissed on the furniture. He’d rather not have to start withdrawals.

“Fine.” Diego reluctantly grunted, noticing Klaus’ jaw was still chattering from the cold. He knew the choice Klaus would make if he had to, and it wouldn’t be the warmth. Diego wanted to shake the idiocy out of him, it was exhausting even being in his general vicinity.

Klaus made a beeline for Diego’s fluffy blanket, barely resisting teasing him for owning such a thing. It didn’t really fit in well with his whole machismo, dollar store Batman schtick. He wrapped it around himself like a royal cape. “How was your birthday?” Diego asked as he closed the door and headed towards his coffee pot. Klaus wasn’t sure if it was because his brother wanted to warm him, or if Diego simply needed caffeine to cope with his presence. He has the audacity to call _Klaus_ the drug addict! “No idea.” Klaus wheezed, glancing over to Ben for some assistance. “You’d rather not know.” Ben mumbled with a judgemental expression. Great, that was nice and comforting. “Well now I _have_ to know.” Klaus scoffed at his dead brother, annoyed he’d given him such a sinister answer. 

Unsure if Klaus was actually speaking to him, Diego continued with filling the coffee pot. He wasn’t in the mood for Klaus’ chaotic bullshit. If it weren’t so cold he would’ve turned him away. “Di!” Klaus suddenly yelled, making Diego almost drop the pot. “What?!” he snipped, turning to glare at Klaus over his shoulder. “You’re so _rude_ ,” his brother huffed, as if Diego should be able to follow along with his nonsense “I said what did you do for your birthday?” he repeated. Diego clenched his jaw, wondering why he even brought their birthday up. Curiosity had gotten the better of him, intrigued as to how his enigma of a brother spent his days. “Nothing.” he replied curtly, turning the coffee pot on. 

Ben and Klaus glanced to each other, fascinated by their brother’s surly response. “You didn’t do anything with your sexy lady friend?” Klaus teased, still holding captivated eye contact with Ben. Diego didn’t respond for a few moments, just the noise of a blade being flipped. “We broke up.” he finally grouched depressively. Klaus and Ben both raised their eyebrows, nodding at each other acceptingly. That wasn’t anything new. “Again?!” Klaus squawked, desperate to find out the gossip. She and Diego had lived together at one point, which only lasted for some months. Klaus was morbidly thrilled at that, as it meant he was allowed to know Diego’s address again. “You guys need a shrink. Or maybe angry banging.” Klaus violently jammed his fists together “Or both, angry banging _with_ a shrink.” he suggested crudely, hoping Diego would be irritated enough to stop moping about his ex. They’d get back together anyway.

“If I wanted relationship advice-” Diego uttered as he shoved a cup of coffee in Klaus’ hand “which I _don’t_ , by the way - I wouldn’t get it from you.” he grumpily stated, skulking off to as far away from Klaus as he could get. Diego sipped his coffee, trying desperately not to smirk at Klaus’ deranged suggestion to have a threesome with a couples therapist. He sauntered up to his TV, attempting to turn the ancient thing on. After a few blows to the side, it statically came to life. “Put E! on.” Klaus demanded excitedly, enthralled by having access to a shitty TV. “Does it look like this thing has cable?” Diego deadpanned, giving his brother a dirty look. Klaus pouted, and Diego huffed as he turned back around to get back to finding a show. Not that he had that much choice, he only had a handful of channels. 

_“-lison Hargreaves is reportedly expecting her first child with spouse Patrick Reiner. The couple ha-“_

“She’s pregnant?” all three brothers exclaimed at once - Diego was bewildered, Klaus was excited, and Ben was nervous.

Diego squinted down at the television, frozen in place in front of it. Klaus was murmuring something to himself, but Diego tuned it out. She was having a baby? The news flashed a picture of Allison and her husband, it looked like some kind of magazine photoshoot. Maybe that was how they announced it. She had a bump, her hand placed over it lovingly. “We’re gonna be uncles...” Diego muttered, more to himself than to Klaus. He couldn’t process this information. He chugged the remainder of his coffee, ignoring that it was almost scalding. “Do you think dad knows?” Klaus asked, loud enough for Diego to assume he was actually addressing him. He frowned, he didn’t have any idea if she would’ve told him... Diego didn’t imagine she would, it wasn’t like he was going to be a grandpa - he wasn’t even really a father. Allison probably hadn’t even spoken to him since she moved out at seventeen.

“What if it has powers? What if he tries to steal it? Oh god, he could make it another superhero. What if its power is worse than _ours_?!” Ben worriedly rambled, feeling incredibly stressed by this development. He was thrilled for Allison, she deserved to be happy - and he was sure she’d be a great mom. He was just nervous because of all of the uncertainty. Ben had never been able to cope well with change, if he didn’t know what was definitely going to happen - he’d get all worked up. That was exactly why he’d never gone into the light, he didn’t know what was there and it was too ominous for him to risk finding out. What if the kid’s power was like his and Klaus’? He knew Klaus would likely be worrying about the same thing. Ben hoped to god it wouldn’t be like them.

Klaus granted his brother a sympathetic glance, knowing he would be freaking out. They could talk about it when they were alone. It was terrifying Klaus that his niece or nephew could be as fucked up as them. “If the kid has a power do you think it’d be the same as Allie’s?” Klaus wondered aloud, not particularly bothered about which brother answered him. Neither did. Assholes. “I hope it’s a girl, I can vicariously live my childhood through her.” he mused wistfully, remembering all of the _”girl”_ things he’d always begged to do as a child. You’d have thought gender roles would’ve been the last of dad’s concerns surrounding Klaus, but apparently not. A niece would be nice.

“No offence bro,” Diego shot Klaus a fleeting sorrowful look as he finally got his brain working enough to go sit down “you shouldn’t be anywhere near a kid.” he stated with an apologetic smirk. “Fuck you, you’re the stabby one!” Klaus yelped, gesturing to the extremely sharp blade in Diego’s hand. Diego quickly shoved it back into its holster in a fluster. “I wouldn’t bring the knives!” he exclaimed defensively. He’d be a good uncle, Eudora’s nieces loved him for whatever reason. _Ugh, Eudora..._ Diego frowned to himself. “So you wanna go meet it?” Klaus replied, no longer pissy about the objective truth. Diego hoped it wasn’t out of pity, he didn’t want pity from _Klaus_ of all people. “I don’t know.” Diego mumbled with an uncertain shrug. “I doubt she’d want me there.” he admitted, knowing they didn’t really have much in common besides being snarky. Allison liked to pretend she didn’t even have a family. He hadn’t seen her since her wedding. Diego pulled the knife back out from its sheath, seeking its comfort.

It was difficult for Klaus not to goad Diego about his stab-happy habits, but he looked too miserable to mess with. Klaus barely resisted popping some pills, instead he nibbled his nails thoughtfully. Diego was right, he shouldn’t be around a kid. He can barely be around adults. Klaus wanted to meet it though, maybe there would be a way. Peering over to Ben, he’d pulled his hood so far over his face that he was hard to even make out. Klaus knew Ben would never get the chance to truly meet Allison’s kid, and he’d never even get the chance to get a peek at it if Klaus didn’t somewhat get his act together. Just like earlier, Klaus had a decision to make. He regretfully knew what he’d choose. Ben would forgive him. Maybe he could just lie to Allison... trick her into letting him visit. “I hope she doesn’t name it _Pear_ , or some weird Hollywood name.” Klaus gestured a shooing motion, vetoing any of those stupid names. 

“At least it’s wouldn’t be a number.” Diego snorted aggrievedly. Klaus hummed his agreement. “Do you think if Allison and Luther had a kid they’d call it Four Junior?” Klaus wheezed, loving the idea of 1+3=4. A blade flew past his head close enough to cut a curl from his hair. He looked down at it in puzzlement. His brother was a psychopath.

“Why do you have to say that shit?!” Diego groaned, effortlessly catching the blade when it turned around mid air and flew back at him. He knew Klaus only ever mentioned them to make Diego cringe... but at least his disgust was a distraction from brooding about his breakup. Klaus had some perks, Diego supposed.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone is new this series was written throughout over a year (since season 1 came out) so I’m just uploading atm - I will finish my current Diego fic when I have time and would love requests!


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